a niggle in the heart

from overstimulation of my heart and senses to humdrum life.

from meeting new people everyday to being back in a life where people know you, and expect you to behave a certain way.

from being challenged every day to reconsider what living to magnify Jesus looks like to the temptation to slip back into old routines...

i can't bear it. i don't want things to just stay the same; to have experienced potentially life-changing things, but to remain unchanged at heart. i'm not talking about perennially having a hyped feeling. i know that travel is an unreal reality. but surely, when the heart is changed, there's GOT to be a difference.

'When we go to God by prayer, the devil knows we go to fetch strength against him, so he opposes us all he can.' R. Sibbes

i look to the One who has already won and is reigning with all power - and ask Him to stir my heart to love recklessly and live radically. and to surround me with people who would help me to do that. not necessarily people who are supportive of that ends; but people who refine and challenge me to love and live deeply.

so stoked to be off facebook.
it's crazy how something like that can actually effect you spiritually.
part of crucifying the desire for the praise of people.


if this is going to be my last day, let me do 180s in my heart, acknowledge what it is that He has done, tremble before His word, expect Him to move, and run after His heart - for the fame of His name. let Him shine through this weariness.

His story.
His glory.